I'm NOT turning into a Republican

Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

Yoda

So I was standing in line at the grocery store today waiting to buy some goodies for dinner. The customer in front of me had a huge cart of what I would mostly consider junk food: 4 half racks of soda pop, case of cup 'o noodles, sugary cereal, and a lot of frozen meal stuff. She's got some serious ink on her arms, bleached and teased hair and designer sunglasses. The clerk comments on her fancy french nails and the lady beams and explains how they took two and half hours to do. The total for her cart full of crap is $180. Scratch that, $169 and change because she's paying with her food stamp debit card.

For a moment (that I'm extending now because I'm taking the time to write about it), I was completely pissed off. The thing that set me off here wasn't that the lady obviously had money and time to put into her appearance while still on public assistance; it was the things that she was buying with "our" money. It's shallow and judgmental and in many ways none of my business, but it still rubs me the wrong way. Jones Soda and Sugar Smacks are not the building blocks of a healthy society.

Canada Two: The Revenge

If things go according to plan, my youngest brother will take over Canada sometime in the next two decades. Details are a little sketchy as to whether this will be the result a bloody revolution or if he will be welcomed with open arms following a massive ingestion of tainted poutine. The means of his ascension really doesn't matter; we know that it will happen eventually.

Once he takes power the basic plan it to set up a utopian society; a socialist meritocracy guided by a benevolent dictator. The first order of business will be to build a large wall to separate Canada II from the normals in the rest of the world. Then everyone wishing to remain inside the wall will have to take an intelligence test. Those who do not meet a minimum requirement will be ejected from the country by means of a large trebuchet. All future applicants for citizenship will be subject to the same test and penalty for failure.

The benevolent dictator part will be ensured via a lottery system. Every 24 months a call for applicants for the office of High Poobah will be made. Anyone who applies will be ejected via the trebuchet. Everyone left will be assigned to the lottery pool and the (un)lucky winner will be declared dictator for life. Obviously they will have to make the best of the two years left to them.

My only concern with the plan, other than hoping that I pass the entrance exam, is that Canada is a long way from the South Pacific. I'm going to be very torn between my dream of subsistence level farming in the tropics and hanging out with Adam.

Rubik's Revenge

I've got a Rubik's problem. Tom got me a Rubik's Revenge for my birthday. It's a 4x4x4 version of the evil cube. With 7.4E45 permutations possible for the 56 components of the cube there is a lot of twisting to do.

Interestingly, it's not too much different to solve than the 3x3x3 cube. Basically what you can do is reduce the 4x4x4 to the same problem as the 3x3x3 by solving the centers and pairing up all of the edge pieces. Once that is done, the two inner layers can be rotated in tandem and solved normally.

Solving the centers and edges only takes a handful of new algorithms. Once you solve a couple of centers that part becomes pretty easy. The first 6 edges are cake too because you have room to store them out of the way once you've matched the pieces. After that things get a little trickier.

It's sitting on my desk at work right now. I've got the cheat sheet for solving it in my "man purse." Sweet fancy Moses I am a dork.

A Major Award

Chili Champ 2008My wife and some of her friends put together a chili cookoff/chili feed party last night. The idea came from a conversation with Laura and Ben over a batch of tasty but too hot to eat comfortably chili I made a month or so ago. Five of us have January birthdays, so we decided that a chili cookoff would be a fun way to get together and celebrate.

The turnout for the party was great. There were 11 batches of chili up for judging submitted by nine cooks. The judging was a head-to-head taste test with everyone at the party voting for their top three picks. A first place vote was worth 5 points, second favorite got 3 and third got 1 point. The entries varied from cookbook recipes to custom creations. There were ground beef, beef, pork and chicken entries. Since these were eating chilis rather than professional competition recipes, every entry contained beans or rice. If I had it to do over, I think I'd leave the beans out of one of my submissions.

I made two batches of chili to enter in the contest, one was a Texas style red chili and the other was a chili verde. The green chili won the contest by a landslide. I think this was a combination of the uniqueness of the recipe among the other entries, which were all some red chili variation, and my secret weapon: a cilantro lime crema topping.

Several people asked for the recipe, so I'm going to try an record what I did to make the winning entry. I used the pinch of this and dash of that method to put it together, but I think I can still remember all of the key ingredients. If you're interested, use the instructions below and lots of tasting and tweaking to put together a batch for yourself.

Turkey Chili Verde with Cilantro Lime Crema

2008 Capricorn Chili Cookoff winner
(c) 2008 Bryan Davis some rights reserved

  • 4c Chopped Sweet Onion (2 big onions)
  • 2T Vegetable or peanut oil
  • 1t Kosher salt
  • 1t Ground coriander seed
  • 1t Ground cumin
  • 1t Ground thyme
  • 1t Garlic powder
  • 1T Chili powder (homemade is best)
  • 2t Crushed chili flake (green if you can find it)
  • Fresh ground black pepper
  • 1 - 1 1/2lbs Dark turkey meat (I used legs, see notes below)
  • 2t Kosher salt
  • 4T All-purpose flour
  • 1t Ground coriander seed
  • 1t Ground cumin
  • 1t Ground thyme
  • 2t Garlic powder
  • 1T Chili powder (homemade is best)
  • 2t Crushed chili flake (green if you can find it)
  • Fresh ground black pepper
  • 2T Vegetable or peanut oil
  • 2 cans Whole tomatillos (or 10-12 fresh tomatillos if you can find them)
  • 2 cans mild green chilis
  • 1T Brown sugar
  • Vegetable or poultry stock
  • Small bunch of cilantro
  • 1 Lime
  • 1c Sour cream, plain yogurt or crème fraîche
  • 2 cans white beans

Saute onions in oil in a heavy sauce pan with salt, coriander, cumin, thyme, garlic powder, chili powder, crushed chili flake and a few cracks of fresh ground pepper. Cook onions until they start to take some color and about half the water has cooked out of them. Dump the cooked onions into a crockpot to wait for the rest of the goodies.

Chop turkey into bite size pieces. I used turkey legs because I wanted a lot of connective tissue for the deliciousness that a long stewing can give. If you use legs, be prepared for a lot of knife work. You need to bone out the leg to get the meat. A turkey leg has 7 or 8 large tendons that will need to be removed and several tough layers of connective tissue. I think you could substitute turkey thighs or chicken thighs instead if you want to save some time. Don't use white meat though because it won't survive the stewing process; you'll just end up with a bunch of turkey dust in your chili. Once the turkey is chopped, salt liberally.

Mix the second batch of spices and the flour and toss with the turkey to coat. Add some oil to the same sauce pan you cooked the onions in and cook the turkey in batches until lightly browned (4 or 5 minutes). Cook in batches so you get frying and browning instead of stewing or steaming of the meat. Dump each cooked batch in the crockpot with the onions.

Dice the tomatillos and add to the crockpot. Add the cans of chilis and the brown sugar as well. Give the pot a good stir and add some stock if it doesn't look moist enough. The onions still have a lot of water in them that will cook out as everything stews in the crockpot, so don't go too crazy. The contents should look moist, but not be standing in liquid.

Turn on the crockpot, put on the lid and take a break. Very the temperature of the pot depending on how long you have to cook it. Leave it on low if your going to let it stew all day. If you want to eat in a couple of hours, turn it up higher. The slower and longer you leave it to cook the better the turkey will taste.

When you've caught up on your tv watching, make the crema. Pick the leaves off of the cilantro stems and finely chop them. Don't throw away the stems because we're going to use them in a minute. Add the cilantro to the sour cream in a small bowl. Zest the lime and add that as well. Finally juice the lime and add that to the sour cream mixture. Stir well and season with kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste. When I make it, it comes out looking like a loose spinach dip.

Very finely chop the cilantro stems you reserved during the crema step. Add these to the slow cooker about an hour before you want to serve the chili. Rise, drain and add the beans at this point too if you're using them.

Taste your chili at this point and add any of the seasonings to balance the flavor. The hardest part for me is putting in enough salt. Tune the spices in small increments, because you can go from bland to overwhelming really quickly, especially with the chili powder and flake.

Writer's Block

I actually though I had several ideas for blog posts when I started this thing, but it turns out that I don't drink enough to be a good writer. Maybe I'll start drinking more.